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Who Am I?

I am a daughter of Christ, I say this proudly and without prejudice, I say this because Christ saved my life and I owe everything I am to him. Many may disagree, and some will know exactly what I mean. And that’s ok, because you know what, I am proud to be called a daughter of Christ, and even though you may not share my views and faith, it will never make me love you any less.

I am a child, a daughter, a piece of my parents being, cared for, raised with love, motivated by them to be more than I allow myself to be. I see pieces of myself reflecting in their eyes, we share more than blood, we are an extension of each other. I am blessed to have them as my teachers, my place of safety, people I can laugh and cry with. And I hope I make them proud every day.

I am a sister, I have paternal / maternal siblings and I have friends that form a part of my soul family. We have played, we have explored, we have shared the joys and sorrows this life has to offer. We encourage each other, we build each other up and at times we broke each other down, but never once have we ever ceased to love one another.

I am a grandchild, I have grandparents that I have met and had the pleasure of spending time with and I have learned so much from them. I have watched the joys of life seep out of their hearts and flow into every moment this life has to offer. I have grandparents that I never met, but I know they watch over me and I can feel their love flowing down from heaven and their prayers surround me.

I am a wife, my other half searched the world to find me, and when he did, he picked up all my scattered pieces and became a puzzle master, and I helped him find his way, I do this proudly and I never cease to pour love into the man who loves me.  I am not his servant and he is not just a bank account. We are a team, we are friends, we are so much more than meets the eye.

I am a mother, seldomly perfect, but always ready to embrace the adventures the children are leading us on. I have nurtured them and helped them to grow, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I watch in wonder as I realize what a blessing they are to everyone they meet. I feel pride when I see them learn new things and take pleasure in the small things. I have cried with them just as much as I have laughed with them.

I am a friend, sometimes it’s a temporary friendship, and sometimes it’s a lifelong friendship. I have shared my kitchen and opened my home to people who started off as strangers, I have caught tears and watched them smile as they dance to music that frees their souls. I have learnt from my friends, we have shared laughter and pain, and I treasure their presence in my life and even though not all of them will stay on my path, I am glad they came along, and we got to share something that will always be what I call wonderful.

I am a writer, fearfully so, not because I don’t want my words written on paper, but because when I write the pieces of my heart I so carefully hide away come to the surface and pour themselves out into the world. It scares me, it rips my heart open and brings tears that have no way to cease. And yet, when I don’t write, I feel the weight of the words that desperately want to be heard become the weight that holds me down and makes my soul cry. It is a gift I celebrate and embrace, and yet this gift has found a way of feeling like a curse.

I am a reader, I love books with pages to turn. I love to find meaning inside of words that made their way from the writer’s mind onto black and white. I know we live in a digital age, and I partake in this new method, but nothing compares to a leather-bound book holding secrets and adventures.

I am a dancer, not formally trained, just someone who allows music to release my inner being and embrace the feelings music brings to light. I hide my feelings in house music and cry when a praise and worship song shifts my spiritual being.

I am a theme song DJ. No, this is not what it sounds like, I have this “little being” that lives in my mind that selects a song that sets the tempo of the day. She is usually impeccable, yet she has these moments where I think she just wants to be cruel. I have woken up to the music of artists that span the extent of time. Some songs are so old, I remember hearing them as a child, others are remixes of songs I danced to, and I have had songs that make my soul cry out from pain because the song is so bad I want to dig my eardrums out. And yet, every song has meaning and is the right one for that particular day.  I am never left me song-less.

I am a teacher and a learner all at once, I have shared my experience with others, young and old, I share because I have learned things they need to know, and yet, I am a learner, I embrace the search for knowledge, I embrace my desire for more life, skills and inner peace. I am a transfer vessel for knowledge and growth.

I am a lover of food. My mother taught me that making food is not merely the ability to put a meal together, it is a way to share love and nurture the people who sit at your table. Food has comforted me, it has nourished me and my family, it has brought people together and made music with the laughter that echo’s as people cook together, eat together and connect just because someone decided to break out and feed the ones they love. Food is not a just a necessity it is a collective of emotions and time well spent.

I am a gardener, I have had gardens so big I could spend days working the ground to bring life to it. I have had spaces so small, I have to leave my desire to get my hands dirty and my feet muddy so that I can tend to pots that mostly have plants in them that will disappear as soon as winter sets in. I have planted seeds, repotted older plants, I have brought life to plants that were dying. I have rescued grass and made a place so soft you could live under a tree forever. I have helped others grow gardens, I have gifted plants and received them. I love what nature has to offer.

I am a wanderer, I may not have some grand adventure planned for every day, but I love exploring life from every angle. I love the sun and clouds, as well as the moon and stars, I love old buildings, churches and libraries. I seek adventure in places of silence and find myself calmed by the ocean. I take time to see where life can lead me, not only physically but emotionally to.

I am all these things and so much more. I am exactly who I am meant to be in this very moment.

Photo Credit: Lesonne Botha – https://www.facebook.com/LeSonne-Photography-143099549565352/

Theme song of the day: I hope you dance – Ronan Keating